WHEN I WAS LITTLE -A CHILD’S PRAYER

Wisewords 3

Poem from Tussila’s Book I
Photo-collage created 2016 by Tussila Spring

Thank you so much for your time, warmest regards from Tussila =)

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About the language in TUSSILA’S BOOK

Tussilago variationsIII

Firstly, let me inform you that English is not my native tongue. If you find my writing a bit puzzling and out of the ordinary, please bear with me.

You may ask why I’m taking the effort to translate all this text into a foreign language. It’s no wonder if you ask, and of course, that was not at all my original plan. The explaining is as follows:

I’m depending on disability benefits, which means I have a restricted economy. Therefore, I can’t make this text into an ordinary print book as planned without financial assistance. I have considered contacting the old fashion public houses in my home country to ask if they would be interested. After some research, however, I realize I’m not robust enough to cooperate with professional publishers. They would most certainly have many ideas of all aspects of my book and they would probably put me under pressure in many respects. Then this new idea emerged in my head; what if I first publish an e-book? Maybe I could sell enough e-book copies to finance a printed version later on.

Some further research led me to the conclusion that my own small country’s market for e-books is not yet very active. Besides, I am afraid somebody will recognize me, if I would publish the book in my own country.

These facts made it easier to reach a conclusion. My book project has become so important to me that I really need to see it through. First I will publish my story as an e-book, in English, and due to my previous mentioned financial issues, I’ll have to translate it myself. Then, maybe later I can manage to publish a paper copy as well, which was my original goal.

Thank you so much for your time!

 

Tussila’s roaring #stigma-fighting fifties!

I don’t know why, but today I’m angry, I’m so angry that in this writing moment, I can’t sit still on my chair, and my back is much straighter than normal, my neck is straighter, my eyes is glancing down on the screen, instead of straight forward at it. All that because I, in this writing moment is taller than normal.

Why this rage, and why now? Is it helpful? is it appropriate? Does this anger point anywhere, and in that case , in what direction does it point?

I will tell you: It points in the direction where the ignorance-believers, the belittling-teams , the professional know-how-experts and the patronizing-lovers live. My anger is an arrow and a sword, which purpose is to strike those communities where it all seems so easy to solve the complex injuries that often follows from childhood traumas. By all means, there are a lot of very competent people out there, trying to help and doing a fantastic job. This goes to those people in various health care units who really isn’t very interested in their patients well-being, and who still claims that they are doing a good job helping.

Most of all, I wish to say, loud and clear, and I will continue repeating as long as necessary: I never allow anybody to call me mentally ill, without me correcting it. What I have is injuries, mostly mental injuries that somebody has inflicted upon me, from the outside. I was perfectly fine when I was born. If I should allow anybody to call me mentally sick, mentally ill, or mentally poorly, I would see myself as weak, because then no causes would be mentioned to explain my condition, and all my courage and strength would disappear.

I therefore, without exceptions, always claim that I have mental injuries. That claim also clearly indicates that there are abusers and wrong-doers in my child history, and that they are responsible for my diagnoses, and not myself. That is my main point. And I guess that my rage mostly comes from the fact that I recently have noticed that terms like “mentally injuries” hardly exists on the web. As far as I can see, the majority still is tagging all mental disorders as “mentally ill”, “mentally sick” and so forth…

And I don’t understand why!

The diagnoses complex post-traumatic stress-disorder clearly has the word trauma in it. I what contexts is it proper to say that the word trauma means ill? As far as I can see, the understanding of the word trauma, is only mixed up when it comes to psychiatry.
Why on earth is that? Can somebody explain what purpose it has, to alter the meaning of diagnostic terms from the somatic health care to the mental health care?

I can not explain it, nor can I understand it.

I’m sorry for this outburst, I hope that I didn’t offend anybody, I just had to get it of my chest!

Knowing myself fairly well, I guess there will be a calmer image posted later today…